These past weeks I have been having a lot of pain in my tailbone. The pain became too much to handle so I went to the emergency room. The next day I had emergency surgery to remove an infection in my tailbone.
While I was under anesthesia my mom told me that all I was doing was bearing my testimony in Spanish. At first I thought this was just a funny coincidence. As I thought more deeply about it I was SO grateful that I inside had a desire to share my testimony without consciously thinking about it
After the surgery I watched a video that my mom had taken. My testimony was simple but it really reflected the thoughts of my heart.
I said.
I am grateful to go to Brigham Young University.
I love my teachers and friends.
I know that the Holy Ghost leads us
I know that Jesus Christ lives
I know that our Heavenly Father lives and loves us.
My small testimony reminded me of 1 Nephi 11:17
17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.
This was a very simple and small testimony that I shared while under anesthesia . I know these things to be true. I know that we all have desires to share the truths that we know. Humanly we all desire to be loved and be close to our Heavenly Father. We become closer to him by sharing these truths with others.
xoxo Han.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Monday, October 17, 2016
Digital Dialog Week 7
For many months I have been feeling down but after this week I was able to more fully see the blessings that Heavenly Father has for me. On Tuesday I was sitting in the library and decided to check my email. As I checked my inbox I noticed that I had received an email from the BYU London Study Winter 2017 Program. I had interviewed around 3 weeks ago for the program but they told me that there was little to no chance of me getting in. I opened the email and was pleased to read the words "Congratulations!".
To my surprise I was accepted to the program. I couldn't have felt happier and was filled with the feeling of accomplishment. I felt like I had finally had a win.
After being accepted into the program I remembered this scripture in Doctrine & Covenants came to my mind.
Doctrine and Covenants 58: 3-4
3 Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
4 For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.
Through these digital dialogs I have been able to recognize more the way the Lord works to bless me continually and how Satan works to discourage me.
Satan is able to get me down by making me feel like nothing good is going on in my life. He does this by forcing me look through my " natural eyes". These natural eyes are focused purely on the earthly and temporal highs and lows of life. Whereas, God wants me to focus on the many blessings I have. He also wants me be able to rejoice when "after much tribulations come the blessings".
After what had seem to be a rough couple of months it was so rewarding to see how my Heavenly Father has an individual plan for me. I felt a strong presence of his reassuring love this week.
I love God and I know he loves me.
- han.
Monday, October 10, 2016
Digital Dialog Week 6
This week my home teachers came over and shared a beautiful message with my roommate and me. They talked about obedience from the talk "The Blessings of Obedience" by Prophet Thomas S. Monson.
As they shared the message I was surprised when Heath, one of my home teachers asked me, "Hannah why do you keep the commandments?" I quickly responded by saying "It is a way for me to show Heavenly Father how much I love him.
After they gave their message I was impressed to go back and read the whole talk by our Prophet. While reading this paragraph stood out to me.
“God’s commandments are not given to frustrate us or to become obstacles to our happiness. Just the opposite is true. He who created us and who loves us perfectly knows just how we need to live our lives in order to obtain the greatest happiness possible. He has provided us with guidelines which, if we follow them, will see us safely through this often treacherous mortal journey. We remember the words of the familiar hymn: ‘Keep the commandments! In this there is safety; in this there is peace’ [see “Keep the Commandments,” Hymns, no. 303].”3
I feel so grateful to have the knowledge of that sweet him. The words " in this there is safety; in this there is peace" bring such joy to my heart. I feel safe peaceful while I keep the commandments. I know after I keep the commandment Heavenly Father also shows me so much love my blessing my life. I love him and I know he loves me.
Han.
Monday, October 3, 2016
Digital Dialog Week 5
In 3rd Nephi 11:29, It states, “For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit
of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the
father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with
anger, one with another.
These past two weeks I have been studying the doctrine of anger. I chose to study this because of a paper I was writing for my Book Of Mormon Class. I would like to share some of my thoughts about this will all of you.
Often I ponder about how I can come closer to God but rarely do I think about what keeps me from being close to him. I came to the realization that when I am angry I am closer to Satan than I am to my Heavenly Father.
I've come up with two things that help me calm down when I get angry. First, I think of three blessings in my life and breath three times slowly. Another thing that I have started to do is say a quick prayer.
I am grateful that my Heavenly Father gives me weakness because through my mortal imperfections I can slowly come closer to my Heavenly Father. I love him and I know he loves me.
These past two weeks I have been studying the doctrine of anger. I chose to study this because of a paper I was writing for my Book Of Mormon Class. I would like to share some of my thoughts about this will all of you.
Often I ponder about how I can come closer to God but rarely do I think about what keeps me from being close to him. I came to the realization that when I am angry I am closer to Satan than I am to my Heavenly Father.
I've come up with two things that help me calm down when I get angry. First, I think of three blessings in my life and breath three times slowly. Another thing that I have started to do is say a quick prayer.
I am grateful that my Heavenly Father gives me weakness because through my mortal imperfections I can slowly come closer to my Heavenly Father. I love him and I know he loves me.
Monday, September 26, 2016
Digital Dialog Week 4
This week was kind of a harder week for me. I have been feeling that nothing really is going right. In my head I kept telling myself that I still didn't know my major, I hadn't been to the temple in a while, i've been feeling sick and I had so much homework to get done.
I compared my life to a tree that wasn't producing any fruit. As a tree I was standing there with lot of branches but not really doing any good or growing. I thought that it only made since that I was producing some kind of fruit in ONE aspect of my life.
Feeling discouraged I thought that talking to friends would help me feel better. This helped me keep going for a little but by the weekend as I drove back to my parents home for family dinner I felt sadder than ever. As I pulled into the drive way I got the impression to ask my dad for a blessing. A sudden wave of peace came over me as I felt gratitude for the fact that I had a worthy priesthood holder in my home who use God's power to comfort me.
I walked downstairs and struggled through tears to ask my father if he would he give me a blessing. He told me that of corse he would and then began to ask me about how I was doing in all aspect of my life. Holding back tears I melted into a bear hug from my dad. Moments later after collecting myself my dad placed his hands on my head and gave me the most beautiful blessing.
One thing that struck me about the blessing is it talked about how I should always put others before myself and try to look for opportunities to serve at all times. I thought to myself "one of the reasons i'm so over whelmed is because I keep putting others before me." As soon as that thought passed my mind I instantly felted humbled. How could I have been so selfish? The words of Mosiah came to my mind.
Mosiah 18:9
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
When I was baptized I made a commitment to serve and comfort others. This is a promise that I made with Heavenly Father and I renew ever week in church. I now feel recommitted to serving others and seeing how I end up feeling at the end of the week. When I serve others I hope to find that I will not worry about my own problems but instead get lost in the work of service. I am grateful that through a blessing from my earthly father I was able to receive personal revelation from my Heavenly Father.
I compared my life to a tree that wasn't producing any fruit. As a tree I was standing there with lot of branches but not really doing any good or growing. I thought that it only made since that I was producing some kind of fruit in ONE aspect of my life.
Feeling discouraged I thought that talking to friends would help me feel better. This helped me keep going for a little but by the weekend as I drove back to my parents home for family dinner I felt sadder than ever. As I pulled into the drive way I got the impression to ask my dad for a blessing. A sudden wave of peace came over me as I felt gratitude for the fact that I had a worthy priesthood holder in my home who use God's power to comfort me.
I walked downstairs and struggled through tears to ask my father if he would he give me a blessing. He told me that of corse he would and then began to ask me about how I was doing in all aspect of my life. Holding back tears I melted into a bear hug from my dad. Moments later after collecting myself my dad placed his hands on my head and gave me the most beautiful blessing.
One thing that struck me about the blessing is it talked about how I should always put others before myself and try to look for opportunities to serve at all times. I thought to myself "one of the reasons i'm so over whelmed is because I keep putting others before me." As soon as that thought passed my mind I instantly felted humbled. How could I have been so selfish? The words of Mosiah came to my mind.
Mosiah 18:9
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
When I was baptized I made a commitment to serve and comfort others. This is a promise that I made with Heavenly Father and I renew ever week in church. I now feel recommitted to serving others and seeing how I end up feeling at the end of the week. When I serve others I hope to find that I will not worry about my own problems but instead get lost in the work of service. I am grateful that through a blessing from my earthly father I was able to receive personal revelation from my Heavenly Father.
Saturday, September 17, 2016
Digital Dialog Week 3
This week having hit my one year mark of returning home from my mission I found myself thinking about the things that I have and haven't accomplished. I felt kind of down on myself for not completing more of my goals and not really applying all the things that I learned on my mission. After feeling kind of off for most of the week I decided to dive into my Spanish scriptures and look to the scriptures that gave me the most strength while I was in the field. I found this one that I love and wanted to share it all with you.
28 ¶Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
After reading these scriptures I immediately felt the need to recommit myself. to doing the small thing that made me happy as a missionary. Often, when I'm down is an indicator to me that I am not doing my part to sustain my relationship with the Lord. Having read this scripture I felt inspired to allow the Lord to lift me up but how? By Savior the center of my life. I want to look back next year when I hit my two year mark and KNOW that I chose to be closer to the Lord then I was on my mission. Being home from a mission doesn't mean that we all can't be closer to him then ever before. I strive to continuously be more Christ-like year after year.
xoxo, Han
Friday, September 9, 2016
11 And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.
12 And it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words the whole multitude fell to the earth; for they remembered that it had been prophesied among them that Christ should show himself unto them after his ascension into heaven.
14 Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel, and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the world.
15 And it came to pass that the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should come.
In my Sunday School class this past week best friends taught about when Christ came to America. I have read this chapter many time and often would invite new investigators to read it while serving as a missionary. However, this was the first time that reading these words pierced my soul and brought tears to my eyes.
When I read about how the Nephites went and felt the prints it really impressed me this time because Christ being a glorified being still chose to keep the marks and to forever remember the selfless sacrifice that he made for all of us.
Thinking about this sacrifice this week as school starts really got me thinking about even though he might have holes in his hands and feet he makes me whole and because of this sacrifice I get everlasting second chances when I come short. I have a goal this semester as school starts again to be better at showing my love to my savior and allowing him to make me whole. I love him and this week I have felt that love in many ways.
xoxo, Han
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